Fearlessness

My dog Albert is a bit of a coward. Well, he’s worried about things – drawers that might fall on him, strange new shapes in the landscape, men with hats… Except when he’s really in the moment, running an agility course or following the scent of a pheasant. Then he’ll hurl himself off the top of an A frame, or leap over rivers. Nothing worries him then when he’s completely caught up in that moment.

I spend a lot of time feeling fearful. Scared of all sorts of things.. from existential threats at a global level to my own personal fears. Aging, poverty, illness. I fear change and I don’t do well with uncertainty. Which is pretty much baked into the life of an artist !

I don’t think I realised how much of a burden of fear I was carrying until I had a moment yesterday evening, walking through woods when I suddenly felt a rush of joy which lifted the weight. The grace of being able to walk freely through trees, with my dogs, in sunshine, on a summer evening. A magical sense of being on the cusp of something wonderful. When the air is warm, and the sun is low in the sky, glancing through the trees, and night is on its way. Not afraid, not fearful and so glad to revel in that feeling of safety and freedom. I felt myself physically straightening up and standing taller. Being in the moment.